How Does God Shape Our Self-Worth Beyond Performance? Eryn Eddy Adkins on Perfectionism, Aging, and Redemption [Podcast Transcript]

Title: So Worth Loving: Eryn Eddy Adkins on Perfectionism, Aging, and Redemption

Podcast Date: April 11, 2025

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Description:

 In this episode of the "Compared to Who?" podcast, Eryn Eddy Adkins, an entrepreneur and co-host of the "God Hears Her" podcast, joins the show to discuss aging, self-worth, and the challenges of understanding God's will for one's life. 

Eryn and Heather discuss the pressures women face in their thirties, both in terms of their appearance and societal expectations and the significance of finding contentment in one's identity and purpose.

Eryn highlights the importance of honesty with God and oneself, as well as the value of being transparent about struggles with envy and comparison in friendships. She also delves into her role as a stepmother and how embracing God's unpredictability has shaped her experiences. Together, Eryn and Heather emphasize that understanding one's worth through God's love rather than social validation is essential for personal peace and fulfillment.

Learn more about the God Hears Her Podcast: https://godhearsher.org/podcast/

Listen to Heather on God Hears Her: https://godhearsher.org/podcast/aging-gratefully/

Connect with Eryn: https://www.instagram.com/eryneddy/

Connect with Compared to Who? and get our Aging April resource plus other freebies - like the new Mirror Fast Bible Study, here: https://wwwimprovebodyimage.com

Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript is AI-generated and has not been edited for accuracy or clarity.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:00:02]:
Life audio. Twenty two twenty three, I realized, oh my gosh. My mom's will for my life is not the same as God's will for my life. And that was really hard.

Heather Creekmore [00:00:12]:
I don't think I got there till '32. It was so far ahead of me. And I think I have some clients that are probably listening and they're like, oh, this is news and I just had my sixtieth birthday. Right. Yeah. Oh, friend Heather Creekmore here. You're listening to the Compare To Podcast, the podcast for Christian women struggling with body image, appearance, comparison, all the things. And you just heard my friend, Erin Eddy Adkins, who's on the show today.

Heather Creekmore [00:00:42]:
Well, we were supposed to talk about aging from a younger perspective. Erin's thirty eight, and we were supposed to talk about what it's like to experience aging in your thirties because this is aging April. But my conversation with Erin did not exactly go there. We went there a little bit, but we had such a fantastic conversation just about figuring out God's will for your life, what it looks like to have God redeem the broken parts of your life, what it was like for both of us to kinda live as Pharisees and then realize that maybe doing all the things right and perfectionism wasn't actually the way of the gospel, you are going to love this super encouraging fun conversation with Erin Eddy Adkins. She's an entrepreneur. She is an author, and she is part of the God hears her podcast team. It's a great podcast. I had the privilege of being on it last year.

Heather Creekmore [00:01:32]:
I'll link to it in the show notes. But go check out everything they have. It's a podcast out of our daily bread ministries, and I think you'll really enjoy that. But I'm so glad you are here today for this fantastic conversation. Hey. If you're new to the show, we'd love to connect with you. Go to improvebodyimage.com. You can find out all about my books, including the aging book I mentioned today and the comparison free life book I mentioned in today's episode.

Heather Creekmore [00:01:56]:
You can also find out what we do in coaching and our forty day journey where we use my forty day body image workbook to help women break free from body image issues. You can connect with us. All the things are at improvebodyimage.com.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:02:11]:
I hope you'll check them out. Now let's get to the day shot.

Heather Creekmore [00:02:22]:
Erin, Eddie Atkins. Welcome to the Compare To Podcast.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:02:25]:
Thank you for having me. This is so fun to see you again. Yes. Because we

Heather Creekmore [00:02:31]:
we had a fun conversation about aging, what, a year ago? When was that?

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:02:34]:
We did on the podcast God Here's Her that I am a co host too with Lisa and Vivian Mabuni.

Heather Creekmore [00:02:41]:
Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:02:41]:
It was awesome. I I learned so much from you on a topic that's not really discussed in faith in the faith spaces, especially. It is it's discussed more medically, I feel like, but not in faith circles. So it was a really great conversation.

Heather Creekmore [00:02:55]:
Oh, thanks. So I'm excited to have you here today to get to know you better. And we're gonna talk about aging again. Let's do it. Can I disclose your age?

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:03:05]:
Yes. Do it.

Heather Creekmore [00:03:07]:
So Erin just told me she's 38.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:03:09]:
That's right.

Heather Creekmore [00:03:09]:
But I love the just the thought of having a conversation about aging with someone in their thirties. Because most of our aging conversations are, like, with older people. Right? And Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:03:22]:
It's true.

Heather Creekmore [00:03:24]:
But aging is real. I feel like every stage of life. Right? And I mean, I've got one getting ready to graduate, and it's like, I know, like, they feel that, like, oh, what's next? Like, there there's this this pressure, maybe concern, maybe uncertainty, all of those things Yeah. Around aging at every stage. And so, I'm excited for today. Where I would love to start, though, is you have a pretty fantastic story. Got some some cool things in your life. Erin, would you just share that with us?

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:04:00]:
Yeah. Yeah. So I am from Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm just north of the city. And I'm, remarried with three amazing stepdaughters, and I love to be a cohost to God hears her. I also recently launched a podcast called so worth loving. I have an organization called so worth loving where we, we remind people of their worth and their value, no matter their past stakes, relationship status, career choice, the history that they come from, or the way that they look. And this I love this conversation that you're having because it's so dear to my heart. So if you if you don't ever see me in person, I'm four eleven, and I've always been the runt growing up in every classroom, every circle.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:04:51]:
I've always had people make comments about my size. People said things, that were not so kind about my size. And, honestly, with aging, people have made comments about how I look so young, but now I'm 38 and I'm I look the height of someone really small or like a teenager, but then my face is starting to get wrinkles and starting, you know, those things that start to happen. So I'm in this really interesting season where I'm learning just more about how culture wants to paint our worth, at least for me and how I'm I find myself in the traps of lies, believing that I need to do certain things or need to look a certain way to be relevant or, you know, whatever it may be. But within that, I think with me coming into that awareness, I witnessed people in our community of so worth loving coming into that awareness of wrestling with. And that's really what has given me the bravery, to be honest about the things I struggle with, because it's a community of people that want to talk about the struggles of self worth and they want to wear the message on a shirt. And then within God hears her, it's the same. It's women that are wrestling with the messiness of life, wanting to know where God is in all of it.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:06:12]:
And so it's really sweet how God's brought me into these two different spaces, but all surrounding the the same topic of understanding our worth and our value. And, so that's a little bit about me, and I'm going further into my my story, and I can get as detailed as you want me to be. Yeah. No. Nitty gritty.

Heather Creekmore [00:06:31]:
Let's dig because, like so I I so appreciate you sharing about, like, your size and the whole that has, you know, presented its own body image challenges. Right? That's what this show is about. Yep. But self worth issues, right, there's often other things going on, right, that have driven us. Yeah. Driven us. That's not the right way to say it. But you know what I'm saying? That that maybe have encouraged.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:06:59]:
Yeah. That's coming to action. Maybe it's come into action. Like, the things we believe about ourselves will translate into action. So if we if we believe that we are deserving of something unhealthy, but we think it just feels good, but it's actually destructive to us. Our actions show that. Yeah. So that's Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:07:18]:
You're you're right. It is kind of an action. Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:07:20]:
Yeah. So let's go deeper, Erin.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:07:22]:
Yeah. So I, you know, I think I I never really paid attention to the struggles of believing I'm worthy of love until I started getting honest with some of the things in my childhood with a family member that was very emotionally and verbally abusive growing up. They painted this perspective of love for me that that looked like if I perform and do all the right things or the way that or if my view of the world is the same opinion as theirs, then I'm deemed as lovable. But if my opinion stretches outside of their comfort or if I challenge it, then, you know, there there's a threat to me being worthy of love. I didn't recognize that lie until I was probably 24, 20 five. And then I walked through a divorce when I was 30. And a lot of the the things that I believed when I was a teenager, I brought into that marriage and believing I have to perform and do the right things and quote unquote the right Christian girl things in order to be loved. And so I found myself twenty nine thirty, separation divorce, and really angry at God, wanting to defy him almost because I felt like he didn't protect me after me, you know, thinking I was doing all the right things.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:08:41]:
And, and then from that divorce, I what I learned was I I really I really believed I had to perform for it. So I kind of decided, you know what? I'm gonna do my own thing. I'm not going to I don't know what I think about God right now in my life. And so I decided to pursue a path of really destruction, but it was in the name of quote, unquote my truth. So I felt like I deserved happiness and I deserve to be loved. And I and so I'm gonna pursue all of those things that make me feel that way. And as I was pursuing those things that felt good, I learned that these things, were only more destructive and leading to a path of emptiness. And it wasn't until a night where I was so burned out.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:09:27]:
I was, you know, date going on lots of dates. I was, making out with people that I shouldn't be making out with. And I was, you know, just doing a lot of destructive stuff, drinking, staying out late, going to bars in hopes that people, you know, will buy me a drink to make me feel valued, those types of, like, tangible things I was doing. And I just remember getting home one night and just being like, this is so empty. Like, this doesn't also feel good. Doing the right things and performing didn't work and then going, you know, living my truth and doing all of these, like, self gratifying things is also not making me feel good. So what is it then that what's the truth and what is the actual truth in it? And the truth for me was that I was really, angry at God and I was betrayed by community and betrayed by betrayed by my from myself. And I had betrayal from my former spouse, and I hadn't wrestled with any of that.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:10:26]:
And so it shaped the way I viewed myself, and it also shaped the way I came to God. And I just came to him with everything, and I just said I'm angry at you. I don't know if you exist, which is funny because I was, like, defying him and saying he didn't exist while also talking to him. I think that's pretty sweet. I was like, so sweet.

Heather Creekmore [00:10:45]:
It's like,

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:10:46]:
I don't believe in you. Also, if you do exist Right. I need I need to hear from you. And, you know, I was met with just his kindness of, like, just a pressing of, you know, Aaron. Like, he came he, like it was almost so audible where I I heard a pressing. I knew it wasn't my voice. It wasn't like, Aaron. You know, it wasn't like anything like that, but it was like it definitely knew it wasn't me.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:11:12]:
Holy Spirit is in me. So I knew it was Holy Spirit just saying, like, are you exhausted? And he knew to come with me, come to me with a question because I had been told that I should do all of these things all my life. And he came with me with curiosity. He didn't tell me that I should be or do. And then from there, that moment, I mean, I just started crying and I just started confessing and just saying, like, like, God, I'm just I didn't know where you've been. Like, I'm angry at you. And the next day, I I stumbled upon the verse Matthew eleven twenty eight, and I've been pretty far from scripture. And I wanna preface, I was I grew up in a really strong faith driven household.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:11:55]:
It wasn't legalistic. It wasn't rule followers. My parents are kind of like hippie nomad entrepreneurs. And so, like, I grew up in a very, like, free thinking space. But, Matthew eleven twenty eight, you know, are you tired, burnout on religion? Come away with me, get away with me and you'll recover your life. That scripture shaped the way I started viewing myself and asking God to carry my mistakes and teach me how to learn to live the unforced rhythms of God's grace, which is what that scripture says he promises to do. And so that's that kind of that's the deeper underbelly of my story and, how I how I kind of fell out of love or with God and then how I fell back in love with who he is in my life.

Heather Creekmore [00:12:45]:
Oh, thank you so much for sharing that. I honestly think so I do coaching with women. Right? And it's the place we get to every time Mhmm. Which is you really believe God loves you. And I think your story is like I I mean, at first, it was like, woah. Sounds a little bit like my story. Like, I think I think the performance based I'm doing all the things. Like and then and then coming to a place where that crashes.

Heather Creekmore [00:13:15]:
Yeah. Right? For you, the divorce. I mean, for others, it, you know, could be any number of things. Yep. But, like, wait a second here, god. Like, I thought I did my part of the deal. Right. Part of the deal.

Heather Creekmore [00:13:27]:
Right. Yeah. Happily ever after. That's what the Disney movies promised. Right? Exactly. I mean and it's it's a Disneyified, like, gospel is really and I I could like, again, like, I couldn't have told you that's what I had signed up for or, like, what I thought I was following. Like, I really thought, like, this was the Christian life. You just you do the things.

Heather Creekmore [00:13:46]:
Yep. And then it's it's so amazing and sweet and gracious of the Lord to allow that hard so that we can truly know him.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:13:59]:
Oh, yeah. If it wasn't for that, you know, that, of course, I I made choices that I regret in ways, but then coming on the other side of redemption and experiencing a love and a grace that he showed me that you don't have to perform. It just, it makes that redemption that much sweeter

Heather Creekmore [00:14:24]:
Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:14:25]:
Versus me never having any hardship and not knowing truly that experience

Heather Creekmore [00:14:31]:
Right.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:14:32]:
Of how God doesn't want us to perform or do to be loved. Mhmm. That that's something that, I am grateful for and I don't regret Yeah. Experiencing.

Heather Creekmore [00:14:45]:
Well, I think the other the other nuance to that, at least it was for me, is this reality that because I thought I was doing everything right Mhmm. And performing right, like, I can't remember the exact, like, passage, but well, I mean, I guess it's it's Mary pouring out the perfume Yeah. On Jesus' feet. Like, I I didn't feel like I had much to be forgiven of. Like, my life was pretty vanilla.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:15:09]:
Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:15:09]:
Like

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:15:10]:
Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:15:10]:
Okay. Thanks, God. But, you know, I'm I'm actually doing pretty well. I'm living a good life. Right? I was a total Pharisee. Like, you know, things things went fine. Like, appreciate that. Appreciate that for later.

Heather Creekmore [00:15:21]:
Like, what happens to happen? That's gonna really come in clutch then, but we're doing okay. And I mean, I really had to had to see myself as a sinner, in order to break, like, the bondage of that for myself. I mean, god did it best. But in my life

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:15:41]:
But to make the choice to see it. And I think that's that's the thing. I think we're scared to I think we're scared to use the word sin because it's been misused and abused. But it actually can lead to a cleansing and an honesty with God that's really beautiful. And I think sin has just been hit upside that we've been hit upside the head with, like, you're sinful, you're sinful, which comes with shame and and it's been, yeah, it's been abused. But I do think that the moment we can acknowledge that we aren't perfect is the moment we can receive God's love more than if we tried to act perfect. Right. We won't it's will always be about us and never being able to see beyond that he really truly deeply loves us as we are no matter what we're doing, no matter what our grades look like, no matter what our family looks like, no matter what our clothes look like or anything like that.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:16:40]:
He just he loves us as we are. Yeah. And we and he can he can take that, you know, and he can make something beautiful out of it and sanctify us and cleanse us and get rid of those things or help us walk walk with us through those things and work through us in those things that we struggle with.

Heather Creekmore [00:16:58]:
Yeah. I love that. I mean, I wanna ask this question, but I don't know if it's too, like, loaded or, like Oh, I love those kind. But it's I mean, like so let me, here's the question. And then I'm gonna, like, tease you, like, just a little bit with, like I think there's this aspect here. So the question is, like, why is it so hard? Like, why is it so hard for us to really feel God's love? And I think, like, we kinda talked about a little bit, like and not necessarily to blame our family of origin, but, like, some of some of the rules, the religion that we decide for ourself. Right? Like, that that can hinder us from feeling his love. But what, like, what else do you think is going on? I think

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:17:47]:
I think there's a a naivety to it. I think we can be naive into the people around us and how they really shape us and how, how they shape the way we see ourselves. Mhmm. So I was Say more.

Heather Creekmore [00:18:10]:
Yeah. Yeah. So I was yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:18:13]:
I was really naive into that. My sister and my mom were shaping me and my dad were shaping. I mean, I just they're just family. Right? So it's kinda like you just don't really think about it. And then you get older and then you're like, oh my gosh. I have all this, like, like, generational baggage that I didn't know I had. You know? So it, like, doesn't suddenly happen where we come into an awareness, like, suddenly about how our family is and or was. So I think that we're naive into thinking, you know, that they're in front of us.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:18:45]:
So that we're the the thing that trust or even if if it's a guardian or somebody that's in our life that's they're shaping us. And and so if they're shaping us and then there's God there and we don't really know how to have a relationship with him, but there's this tangible person that's shaping us that feels like love, that acts like love, seems like love. I've never experienced it before. I'll normalize dysfunction. I'll normalize their behaviors and, their own ways of be of performing. And I think that that we're naive into to seeing how that really shapes the way we see ourselves. And so then when it comes into, like, this relationship with God, we look around with our relationships with people around us. And I think we're like, should that look the same? And then if it's not the same, how like, it's so abstract.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:19:31]:
It's so hard to understand because we have things around us that are so tangible that have been shaping us.

Heather Creekmore [00:19:37]:
Yeah. That's really good. Yeah. It's really good. And it's so so I'm trying to write another book. Yeah. And that's kind of a little bit a little bit what it's about. Just the reality that we have these core beliefs.

Heather Creekmore [00:19:49]:
I don't know. Did you see the movie Inside Out too? Yes. Okay. I also love that movie. So how the core beliefs are created. Right? Yes. We have these core beliefs that come from, you know, childhood. They come from experiences we've had.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:20:02]:
Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:20:03]:
And, like, what does it take to replace the core belief with, like, the truth? Mhmm. Right? Because, like, we can hold something very close, very dearly as a belief because it's just always been true for us.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:20:17]:
So true.

Heather Creekmore [00:20:18]:
And yet, there's God's word, which is directly contradict. Like, no. That's absolutely not true. That's not true about you. Right? So what do you do to, like, replace that? So that's kind of what I've been, like, that's when my headspace has been for the last month or so. But I

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:20:34]:
think that's so good. When I think it it's like yeah. It's looking around and seeing, like, who's shaping it right now or who has shaped it and challenging that. And I think that's really scary because I remember when I was, like, twenty twenty two, 20 three, I realized, oh, my gosh. My mom's will for my life is not the same as God's will for my life. And that was really hard.

Heather Creekmore [00:20:57]:
I don't I got there till 32. Oh, yeah. It was so far ahead of me. And I think I have some clients that are probably listening and they're like, oh, this is news, and I just had my sixtieth birthday. Right. Yes. Right? It's the right crowd here.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:21:17]:
I I really do think that it's it's like when I realized that, that was scary for me because then it was like, well, then who's my mom? Right. If my mom's will is different than God's will, who is my mom to me? And, like, what's her place anymore? And I think some of us get scared, especially as for women, It it couldn't maybe it's not a mom. Maybe it's a dad. Maybe it's a sister. You know, my sister's will for my life is different than God's will. And when I start to make choices out of what God has planned for me and my family has a different opinion or judgment towards it, and they're fearful of it. But God's not scared of you his will for your life, but my mom's scared for the will for my life. Do I listen to God or do I listen to my mom? And I think that's why I think the people around us shape us.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:22:02]:
And and we have to pay attention to do we value their opinion more than we value God's opinion of our ourselves. Preach.

Heather Creekmore [00:22:09]:
Preach. Yeah. Well and and mom is right there and scarier.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:22:13]:
I know. Mom, I'm scarier.

Heather Creekmore [00:22:14]:
To some degree. Right? It's like, oh, but I gotta face her again. We're gonna have to have this conversation again. There's Thanksgiving. There's Christmas. Like, I don't know. I just don't know if I can handle it. I just have to do what mom wants because that just makes my life so much more peaceful.

Heather Creekmore [00:22:28]:
And it I mean but you're right. Mhmm.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:22:30]:
It's so true. It's like, do I want peace in my, like, physical world or do I want peace in my spiritual world? Because sometimes those aren't the same, you know. It's like, if I make the choices that I'm going to trust God with his will for my life, that's gonna look messy, And it's not going to look successful right away. But if I go the path of, like, what somebody tells me they think I should do, and I'm unhappy, unsatisfied, but I'm performing for them, And it may on paper look successful to them, but I don't feel like it's successful. So it's like, you know, who are you listening to? And I had to learn that at a young age when I decided not to go to college. And and I knew that God had something big for my life, and I didn't know what it was. But I knew that, I knew college wasn't my path, and it disrupted every and back then, it wasn't as common to not go to college. Like, it was kinda like if you don't go to college, you don't have a purpose.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:23:30]:
Mhmm. And I just remember, like, my mom and my and I my mom is a huge cheerleader for me now. So I need to give her so much credit, and she's been a ride or die for me during my divorce. And, like, she's but then it was like, oh, no. Okay. And then it was my my sisters and then it because I'm one of three girls. And then my dad was always my dad, he dropped out of high school, so he was just like, you go, girl. You know? Like, he was just like, you go.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:23:55]:
And he and he had a bit he grew up being gritty and having a business, and then my mom helped him. So, again, I grew up with, like, hippie nomad, people from the from the North and the South. But I had a very eclectic childhood. But the people around me, you know, my small like, my, high school groups and, like, school and teachers and, you know, just everybody around me. I had to learn that the hard way. And then I broke the mold again by getting a divorce, and it was like, oh, no. Can you be redeemed? Do you have a purpose? Is your life always going to be messy? And I just I'm just unfortunately, unfortunately, my life has broken in ways and it's been a different narrow path for me, but God has continued to show me that his will is he's going like his will is so much better than anybody's opinion. Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:24:48]:
And I think it's getting comfortable with other people, being disappointed or thinking that you should do something different.

Heather Creekmore [00:24:56]:
Right. Right. It's being okay with the rejection of others and believing that God actually loves you. Yes. Just let's do a simple thing. If you just check that book then you're good. Like, I've been in the shady book that's really good. It's so simple and yet

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:25:12]:
hard. We complicate it. Yeah. It is simple and it's but it feels so scary when you start living a life that's God's will because God, you don't it's not predictable.

Heather Creekmore [00:25:27]:
Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:25:28]:
And we really want predictability. We want certainty. We want order. We want structure to some to some, not everybody. I I I personally struggle with all of those things. Right. Totally need structure, but my husband does. Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:25:41]:
It is basic need in life minus fun.

Heather Creekmore [00:25:46]:
Me too. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. But it

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:25:53]:
is it is a it is a very, very scary thing even though it's so simple.

Heather Creekmore [00:25:57]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:25:58]:
And there's a lot of grace for that for anybody listening that

Heather Creekmore [00:26:01]:
Absolutely.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:26:02]:
Don't wanna downplay it. It is scary to start making those choices. Boundaries and pursuing a different path is is scary.

Heather Creekmore [00:26:10]:
It absolutely is. But but God, like you said, is faithful to walk with us. He's also faithful to walk with us as we age. Yes.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:26:20]:
I love that.

Heather Creekmore [00:26:20]:
You I wish I had written down you used a word when you're talking about, like, your the season of your thirties, and it wasn't striving. What was the word you used? I think it started with a d. I should have written it down. But but I was I was gonna I wanted to jump on that because I feel like I feel like aging in your thirties. This is just, I guess, I don't know, me reminiscing. Not what I'm today now at 50. As I think back to my thirties. But but I feel like in your thirties, there's still this maybe, like, drive of, like, accomplish.

Heather Creekmore [00:26:53]:
Mhmm. Like, do something. Mhmm. I don't know. I don't know if it's necessarily make make a name for yourself, but it's just, like, do something meaningful. Like, do do do. And then I feel like, you know, as you get a little bit older, maybe that pressure dissipates a little bit. But I don't know.

Heather Creekmore [00:27:07]:
Like, what what do you think aging is about? I think it's

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:27:11]:
I think it's contentment. I think the quicker we can get to contentment, the more we're gonna enjoy our forties and fifties. Yeah. I think, you know, for me, I've wrestled with contempt. I am a seven wing eight. Really strong weight.

Heather Creekmore [00:27:26]:
Yep. Yep.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:27:28]:
I am someone that struggles with contentment and struggles with just being still. And and that's always been a struggle of mine. And starting businesses and wanting to start multiple businesses and then learning, like, hey. Wait a second. If I just focus on one business, like, I'll be 10 times more successful. And that looks like becoming content with one business. And so for me, it's, it's translated that way. So I think it goes back to contentment.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:27:56]:
I think we, we wrestle with feeling like we are ear we are we maybe we have a fear that we're gonna become irrelevant.

Heather Creekmore [00:28:10]:
Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:28:11]:
A fear of being forgotten has been. And I do think that comes back to contentment. I think if we can embrace that we're good now Mhmm. We would actually enjoy life more.

Heather Creekmore [00:28:27]:
And I'm I'm yeah. I'm smiling because I'm thinking, oh, wait. This actually goes back to what we just said a second ago. It's believing that God loves you. Exactly. Anyone else thinks. Boom. We're like we just, like, tied a little loop on that.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:28:40]:
That's that's the core belief.

Heather Creekmore [00:28:41]:
Here we go. Here we go. Check. Check. But like but practically okay. So I mean, so you live in, like, an urban area like I do. Right? Like Mhmm. I mean, I'm kind of in a different stage of life now with older teens and, you know, I'm kind of more resolved to like Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:28:59]:
You know, older mom life, if you will. Yeah. But but there is a pressure, I think, in your thirties, especially Mhmm. To have a look.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:29:10]:
Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:29:10]:
You know, like there's an image that's expected of you. And I mean, you know, whether you're just, like, you know, working in a career, like, fully in it or even but even, like, those who have, like, young kids or and there's just this pressure of image. I mean, what like, what do

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:29:27]:
you see? I I relate. I relate to that because it's interesting. I went from like single, loved my single years, after my divorce learning to, like, just really like myself was really hard for me. And then once I crossed the line of like, oh, I actually like just being with me, you know, and not needing to be in a relationship, and then find finding a beautiful relationship that has daughters and older daughters, that has in the last six years really, like, shaped the singleness to stepmomhood has shaped a contentment in me, where I realized being present is more important than appearance and performance. And I think again that God is just always reminding me that he did that in my twenties. He's doing it in my thirties. He'll do it in my forties. He'll do it till I'm dead.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:30:25]:
Like, I just, but I think that, you know, I don't know if I ever, I don't wanna say I never struggled with that in the sense of like,

Heather Creekmore [00:30:42]:
I had

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:30:42]:
to think on that. I can I compared myself when I was in my single days? I can relate to, I compared myself to other single women that were appeared thriving and appeared successful and appeared to have it all together and appeared to have their hair done and their nails done and their face done and everything done all the time. Mhmm. But then when I, like, when I was really exhausted by that thought pattern, like, it just really exhausted me that I was kinda like, I just don't really wanna do that thought life anymore. Like, I almost had to get to a tired of, like or a place of tiredness, which I mean, doctor Henry Cloud talks about that. Like, no one changes until they become uncomfortable and hate

Heather Creekmore [00:31:28]:
hate

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:31:28]:
it, and then they start changing. He he says it way more eloquently than I did, but, essentially, that's what it was. Right? It's like it's I I had to get to that. So by the time I entered into, like, dating my husband, my now husband, and stepping into a sacred space of being a stepmom. It was like all of that was, like, kind of worked out of me. That now I'm just now trying to learn what this new space and identity, like, a new part of my, like, like, layer of identity is. And so yeah. I don't know.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:32:06]:
I don't know. That doesn't really answer your question. I think I do think women just I think we all compare. I think we always look I think we look sideways instead of forward. Mhmm. And so I I do think that looks like comparing ourselves to our friends and what they're doing secretly instead of having the conversation to a friend. I'm kinda jealous that, like, you appeared this way. Like, I did I now have that conversation with my friends.

Heather Creekmore [00:32:28]:
Right. To

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:32:28]:
be honest, it's like, man, I'm really wrestling with envy with you. Yeah. Like Yeah. It just seems so legit and so killing it, and I need a taste of that. Like, why is that not in my life? Like every now and then, like, oh, to be honest with my friends with that, but I don't know. I feel like my life has transformed into something I never thought it would be. And so I think I've become content in that because it's exhausting to try to look around and make my life be anything that I think it needs to be because it's never been that.

Heather Creekmore [00:33:02]:
Yeah. Oh, I love that so much. I mean, and I think that's such a gift to your stepdaughters too that you didn't come in, like, how do I do this perfect? Well, that's that's it.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:33:13]:
Yes. That's it. I never came into being a stepmom going, I know how to exactly do this. And, like, while I do believe God equipped me in ways, like, I went to an all girls school. I'm one of three girls. I I own an organization that's 80% women audience. I'm God hears her podcast. I know women very well.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:33:31]:
And so shaping and being a part of women development is something. And I do believe that's the role of a stepmom is not to replace a mom. It's to just be a support too. And and so coming in just with, like, open hands of God teach me things and be content in how he does that no matter if people wanna put pressure or judgment or labels or whatever it may be. Just just battling that internally and just, continuing to look to God to be my mentor, continuing to look to him to guide me in that. Because if I continue to do that, then I quit looking side to side. Quit looking at my friend's lives. I quit looking at what they're doing in their life.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:34:09]:
I quit I quit comparing or, you know, carrying the labels of what people say about me or think of me. And it's like, that's exhausting. I don't wanna do that.

Heather Creekmore [00:34:19]:
Just don't. Yeah. I and I love that you mentioned, like, just telling your friends straight up. Hey. I'm envying you. Yeah. Because I don't know when I've done that, like I've kind of been through that season too. I often find that they're like, what? No, like I'm envying you.

Heather Creekmore [00:34:36]:
It's like, no, you're, you haven't you seen what a hot mess I am kind of thing. But, you know, and and not that it, like, turns into, like, who's the most hideous ogre. Like, that kind of contest. It's not that. But it's like, oh, the closer I get to people, the more I am able to see, oh, there's, like, really beautiful things in your life, and there's really hard things too.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:34:58]:
Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:34:58]:
And that's just, like, my life.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:35:00]:
There's Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:35:00]:
Beautiful things, and there's hard things. Right? And then I think that kinda takes, I don't know, the air out of envy's tires. Yeah. Honestly.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:35:08]:
It totally does. Honesty does that. Honesty is honesty with God and your anger with him, honesty to him that you struggle with greed or, like, you want more money or you want more job opportunities or you want more like, he wants to hold all that. I mean, that's why, again, I love that verse. Matthew eleven twenty. Matthew 11, yeah. Matthew eleven twenty eight. I or Matthew eleven twenty eight.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:35:31]:
I love that verse because it talks about he literally wants to carry all of that, and he will teach us how to do it. And he wants to teach us, meaning we have opportunity to learn. And we shouldn't shame ourselves for being in the space of being in this vulnerable, naive space to learn because he wants to teach us those things. Ultimately, we let the world do it, and then we're not satisfied, and we're still discontent. We want, you know, more money, bigger car or nicer cars, bigger houses, bigger this, that, this, purses, whatever it may be. And it's like, he just wants to just teach us. Fillers, Botox. I'm just kidding.

Heather Creekmore [00:36:10]:
My friends do it. But you know things. Right? Yeah.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:36:14]:
Yeah. It's become discontent.

Heather Creekmore [00:36:15]:
Yeah. Yep. And it's the verse like little children keep yourself from idols. Right? Like, why does he say little children there? I think it's to your point.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:36:23]:
Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:36:24]:
We're like growing up. Yes.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:36:26]:
It's such a good word. I love that.

Heather Creekmore [00:36:29]:
Oh, Erin. Okay. I told you like a half hour and we could probably talk for an hour and a half. I know. This has been so good. Will you just tell everyone where they can connect with you, listen to your podcast, especially listen to God hears her because that's an awesome show. Just tell us all the things. Yes.

Heather Creekmore [00:36:46]:
So you can find us if you just

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:36:47]:
go to godhearsher.org, o r g, or you could find us, at godhearsher. You can find me personally, Erin Eddy, e r y n e d d y. And, yeah, you can find, we released an episode, we're going into the fourteenth season, almost 200 episodes. We record interview people of all walks of life, thought leaders, authors to the person next door. It's produced by women, put on by women, and we interview women. And it's in the messiness of life. Whether you're 19, 12 we've interviewed, you know, interviewed a 12 year old to 65, 80 five. I mean, it's all walks of life, and it's been really amazing.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:37:28]:
So, yeah, that's where you can find me.

Heather Creekmore [00:37:29]:
It's a great show, and I'm curious to check out your podcast too. It sounds fantastic. So Oh, thank you. New one. So Aw. Erin, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. Appreciate your sharing.

Eryn Eddy Adkins [00:37:40]:
So much. Thanks for having me. This is and check out just look up Heather's podcast. Do Heather Google Heather, and then God hears her. And you can find her podcast episode and listen to it because it's amazing.

Heather Creekmore [00:37:52]:
Thank you. Thank you. Well, thanks again. And thank you for watching or listening today. I hope something today has helped you stop comparing and start living. Bye bye. The Compare To podcast is proud to be part of the Life Audio podcast network. For more great Christian podcasts, go to lifeaudio.com.